How do I handle my first lesbian relationship?

I’m straight but I’m starting to question my sexuality, so how do I know if this is something I really want or if it is just a phase?

Here are a few questions you might ask yourself with a few tips that I hope you can find help if you are in a situation like this!

1. Will our period sync?

Some say “Duh” and others say they do not know, to be honest, I can´t give you the answer to that one but I do hope it does happen.

 

2. Will I feel weird with public affection?

At first, it might be a bit strange if you care what other people think and depending on the area that you are at. Some women who are in long healthy relationships still feel uncomfortable and other women care zero amounts of what other people think or may say.

It will all depend on you and what you are comfortable with.

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3. How do I know if a woman is romantically attracted to me?

The easiest thing is to just ask, of course, it can be awkward but only if you make it awkward. If she identified herself as a lesbian it will be easier for you to pick up a flirty vibe from her side but also remember she could also just be friendly. Just because she is a lesbian does not mean she is automatically attracted to you.

If you ask and get a “No” as an answer because she did not flirt. Do not feel bad, it is better to know sooner than to do something you will later regret.

 

4. Does one need to be more manly?

No. If you are a butch or a fem, it is your choice. There are no rules to this! If you both feel like being butch then go ahead. Whatever makes you happy!

 

5. Whose pay the bill when we go out?

Few of my friends asked me this question before since their boyfriends will take them out and pay for dinner and they wondered how does it work with lesbians? No rules. Most of the time girls will share their bill or if they feel cute they will take their partner out for dinner and pay for it. it is like you buy me a drink and I buy you one after kind of deal.

 

It is nice to share responsibilities.

 

6. I do not know how to have sex with a woman.

My advice, trust yourself, you`ve got this! Most women will tend to look on the internet but it will only bring up more stress to do it that way and most details on the internet you should not trust at all!

The right one will talk to you about it and will be patient with you.

Don´t stress too much about it, just let it happen naturally.

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7. Do I need protection for lesbian sex?

I won’t go too deep into that question since we have an entire post about safe sex, just scroll down our page and you will find it.

 

8. What if we have sex and I hate it?

I guess you need to ask yourself what gender you prefer. Remember sex is about a lot more than just playing around but about love also. The moment you fall in love everything else will fall in place too.

 

9. Are we moving to fast?

Lesbian relationships tend to move faster than straight relationships, at least is a common belief. I guess if you know you know. That is something only you and your partner can discuss. If you feel like things are going as they should then good for you! Do what makes you happy.

 

10. Coming out to family and friends.

This one could be hard or easy. Friends are easy to come out to since they will support you no matter what (if they don´t they are not real friends) and only want to see you happy!

The family might take a while, before you tell them, make sure you are 100% honest with yourself about your feelings and that you feel comfortable with yourself. They might find it hard in the beginning but everything will work out just fine in the end!

 

I hope I was able to answer a few of your questions!

Now go have fun with that girl.

The New LGTBIQ+ FLAG

Hello Everyone, we have talked before about the very iconic Rainbow FLAG. Now once again we will talk about the FLAG and how it has changed to be more inclusive

New FLAG 

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Who designed it?

Daniel Quasar, a designer based in Portland, he felt that LGBT flag should be visually separated from the newer stripes, as well as to “shift focus and emphasis to what is important in our current community climate.”

“When the Pride flag was recreated in the last year to include both black and brown stripes as well as the trans stripes included this year, I wanted to see if there could be more emphasis in the design of the flag to give it more meaning,” Quasar explained

Last year there was a new design, this was to include black people and brown. However, it was  necessary to include the trans who are also a ministry within the community

“When the Pride flag was recreated in the last year to include both black and brown stripes, as well as the trans stripes, included this year, I wanted to see if there could be more emphasis in the design of the flag to give it more meaning,” Quasar explained

 

What do you think about the flag?

 

Around the world

Being on the road most of my time made me realize how much I miss home, and yes, if you were wondering, I’m from South Africa.

A place with so much cultural that everything you see has a story of its own.

A place that is filled with nature that died out from not getting enough rain.

A place where you will see people standing next to the road selling fruits or just something traditional made by their families.

A place that I most feel at home!

My time here in China has made me realize that no one really knows how amazing South Africa is.

I get questions such as:

“Do the animals walk in the street?”

 I’m proud to say that we have the Big Five native to our land (lion, leopard, rhinoceros <both black and white species>, elephant, and Cape buffalo) and animals can walk freely in wildlife camps or safaris without being trapped in a cage.

So my answer is NO, they don’t walk down the streets, shopping in the local grocery shops, but they do have their own home that you can feel free to visit and experience the beauty of being around their presence.

“Do you guys even have big buildings?”

Like any other town, we have big buildings, yes.

The Capital city is Cape Town and it is quite breath-taking with a beautiful beach you can spend your summer days at.

What I can add is, every city has his own story.. and once you know that you will truly see the beauty behind each building and not just the big shiny ones.

“Sorry to ask, but why are you white?”

I hope no one takes this one too personally as it is quite funny!

The answer to this is simple… look up colonialism!

I am who I am and I’m sure you will get a huge shock when you visit South Africa and realize it is the total opposite of what you thought.

Enough with the questions, for now, let’s get a little more in depth with the details of the trip and the great LGBT+ scene there!

The first Pride I attended was in South Africa, it was not as big as in other countries but it was definitely one to remember!

It was quite hidden until the day of the event so no one really knew about it! The day I arrived in Cape Town I had already seen posters up with the Pride date coming closer and I was so amazed!

For a small place that not a lot of people know, they are growing quite fast! The joy felt by me was indescribable, just seeing people being proud of who they are!

Of course, I was sad that I could not attend this event in my home town but I knew China had another plan for me.

On my way home, I saw all the lands of farmers dried out and remembered we were struggling with water, I couldn’t have felt emptier that I know we have no idea what is actually going on in other countries, it made me open my eyes again to how privileged I am. Then again, as the farmers always said, with a little bit of faith and hope everything will be fine! And it turned out to be!

My days passed so quickly, maybe it was because of the jet lag and I woke up at 4 AM each morning and went to bed at 7 PM the first week.

All the time that we had I mostly ate, slept and spent time with my family, that is what it is all about, isn’t it? Seeing your family after so long! But I would be lying if I said all the time.

I took a day or two to just admire the beauty of Africa

  • The people
  • The buildings
  • The old traditional huts
  • The animals
  • The clear sky
  • Each night having a million stars above you
  • People driving on the wrong side of the road
  • The food
  • The languages
  • The club music
  • The traditional music

I heard a lot of people saying “don’t go there, it is dangerous”, well everywhere is dangerous.

I’m not going to lie and say it is the safest place on the planet but I would be lying if I said it’s not worth the visit.

My final days couldn’t go slow enough, I spent my time saying goodbye to old friends, saying hello to new LGBT+ friends I met along the way, eating as much traditional food as I could and just spending time with loved ones!

And of course, seeing the most powerful animal ever that made me realize how small I am, the elephant.

I don’t want to bother you further with my amazing trip, so I will leave you with …

If you ever feel like getting lost in nature, taking hiking trails that will lead you to unknown places, climbing in caves and seeing drawing from millions of years ago, jumping in pure mountain water, feeding any animal that you desire, talking with the natives and learning their ways, getting to know a few more LGBT+ bars and people along the way, beating the heat and cold and well maybe just finding yourself under a million stars… I know a place.

Feel free to take a trip there, I promise it will be an adventure of a lifetime!